Private eyes are watching you

I am now officially being watched. The fear and paranoia of being robbed again has made us decide to install security cameras. My real hopes are that if I do get robbed again they will be ¨caught on tape¨ and can be punished accordingly. The part where I lock the door and do my ¨kung-fu¨ ass kicking will be deleted off.
So not only am I blogging my daily life and feelings but I have also gone to video. Is nothing private anymore? I hope the cameras are not like those x-ray glasses where they can see thru your clothes or read into my thoughts. I still have a small part of me that I would like to keep to myself. I do have a private corner or ¨angle¨ where I am out of sight of the camera. So when I feel like jumping up and down, screaming, or making obscene jestures I can retreat to my small hide away.
I still have not figured out if I can be heard. I will have to ask if sound is also being taped. If not, I can keep talking to myself outloud and at least my phone conversations or skype calls will be private. I am wondering, what will be the next step? Like those stunt men who strap cameras on their helmets, I could walk thru my days with one strapped to my shoulder, like a parrot.
Well three cheers to broadcasting.....¨three, two, one....and we are live on the air¨.

I´ve fallen and I can´t get up

This weekend I fell down once again. I scraped my kneee, bumped my head and just when I thought I would pass out my prince charming once again swooped in to save me. I just wonder when he will grow tired of picking me up after tripping over the same obstacles again and again. You would think one would learn from their mistakes and try and better oneself....but no. During the week I do so many things to better myself spiritually, mentally and physically and then the weekend comes around and I seem to become a different person. This time like every other time I say ¨I am done, I will change¨. I hope I do. I hope I find the strength that I have within which I use to get me thru the week to also get me thru the weekends. So once again, thank you my prince.

Stick em up

Why is it that when you are robbed either forcefully or without knowing, you feel like a complete idiot. You feel violated and you can´t believe that something like that has happened to YOU! How could have I have been so stupid to not realize that someone was taking something from me. After blaming yourself for a while and feeling violated those feelings evolve into rage and thoughts of revenge. If it happens again, I´d like to know some crazy martial art and do some major ass kicking. The thought of that or those who robbed you being brought to justice is pure delight.
How come we can work so hard to acheive things and someone can walk in and in 5 minutes take a part of that away from you?

I then have to remind myself that what was stolen was purely materialistic and the situation could have been worse. Sometimes I feel like selling everything and keeping only the necessary. Then there wouldn´t be anything to steal. Unfortunately at this point in my life I don´t think that is possible.

For now I think I will sign up for some Karate or Tae kwon do and hope that if the situation were to repeat itself I will be more on guard and be able to do that ¨ass kicking¨.

Muscle relaxers

I went to my General Practioner the other day because I have been having problems sleeping. The problems are a direct result of the fact that during the middle of the night my hands go numb and I have a painful ¨pins and needles¨ feeling in them which yanks me out of my otherwise ¨light¨sleep. I never have been able to get a really good´s night sleep due to other circumstances, but that´s a different post. I was hoping that my doctor would be able to give me a solution or recommend me to a specialist. I had gone on my own to 2 different massage therapist, which specialize in sport´s or deep tissue massage. Both told me that my muscles were over devolped and were pushing on my nerve. But since things were not getting any better I thought I might as well go the Doctor route. After touching my shoulder and neck she prescribed Vitamin B and muscles relaxers. Each I am to take for a whole month. The vitamin B, I am okay with, but muscle relaxers for a whole month. That seems like a lot. I am afraid I will become an addict after a month. The good thing is instead of just my hands going numb my whole body feels numb and I sleep like a baby. I also see this as another temporary solution. But I have decided to try it and hopefully after a month I will not be looking in sketchy neighborhoods looking for someone to sell me my dosis of pain killers so I can sleep¨like a baby¨.

Snail Mail

I have to say that I am a true romantic. I love when the doorbell rings and upon opening it I find the post woman standing there with a letter in her hand. That´s how my day started today. This little white envelope with the blue and red stripes around the border was being handed to me. I immediately knew it was from my mom, in Zambia. The blue square in the corner with the words, ¨by airmail¨, and the zambian stamp costing K3,300 in the right hand corner were dead give aways. I know that we are in an era where letters are almost extinct but if you can imagine, there are actually still places on this planet that do not have an internet connection. Cell phones, that´s a whole different story. For example, my mom, who is in Zambia working with the Peace Corps. The nearest town with Internet is 100km and she has to hitch hike to get there so you can see how snail mail is another option. But what I really am wanting to get at is the joy of opening a little white letter and recieving an email is not the same. It´s so much more exciting to get mail, which isn´t junk or bills. Someone has actually taken the time to write, gone to the post office, purchased a stamp and mailed the letter. That is so much more note worthy. So a big thanks to my mom for making my day!