WOW. A lot has happened since my last post in July 2013. The biggest news, is that I am only one Part Time Gypsy now. The S is gone and I am now singular, or best said single. After living a storm of emotions for the last almost two years of my separation, and a 5 year lull, I am finally back writing (publicly) again and am hoping that this will help bring me some peace. As for the travel, I did travel up until about 2 years ago, mostly still in Asia and mostly within Indonesia. What a great country. I hope I will find the strength to return one day even if it is on my own. Funny before I met my husband I traveled all over Europe alone, and I was only in my early twenties. Maybe thats why, I had no fear, too young to fear anything. Now it seems I fear everything, especially my choices, my decisions and my feelings.
So hear I sit today in front of my computer, having a bad day, a ¨I am feeling super lonely and alone day¨ and feel the need to communicate. To let my fingers do the talking knowing that these words might be destined to cyber emptiness, but thats okay. I have been writing now to nobody for the last 6 months so if nobody reads this it will be the same as writing in my daily morning pages. I do know that they bring relief, sometimes they even help put my thoughts in order, calm me down and bring some peace and quiet to my ever busy mind. I had actually thought of starting a blog and writing more publicly about my separation and the changes that this has brought in my life but I have not until now decided to do that. I am hopefully that one day soon, instead of writing all about my separation (which is what I have done every morning for the last 6 months), I will be writing about new experiences which may include travel and that is why I have decided to continue on with this blog allowing it to be my voice.
I find it curious, when I have my bad days, that I think of leaving (actually more like fleeing) to some lost corner of the world. I wonder why that is? You would think that if one feels lonely they would want to go where they are accompanied, not where they know nobody. But yes, that is where I think I would feel better, away, traveling. And so thats what I do. I search for flights to random destinations and dream about going and then talk myself out of going on the pretext that I cannot do it, not alone, financially not right now, too many responsibilities etc etc.. But I am confident one day, like today when I decided to start writing, I will buy that ticket. I know that will be the day that I will have found the strength within myself, that same strength that I had in my early twenties which made me bold and fearless. That same strength that made me act on the need to travel, the desire to explore, that brought me to Spain and turned me into a Part Time Gypsy.
So hear I sit today in front of my computer, having a bad day, a ¨I am feeling super lonely and alone day¨ and feel the need to communicate. To let my fingers do the talking knowing that these words might be destined to cyber emptiness, but thats okay. I have been writing now to nobody for the last 6 months so if nobody reads this it will be the same as writing in my daily morning pages. I do know that they bring relief, sometimes they even help put my thoughts in order, calm me down and bring some peace and quiet to my ever busy mind. I had actually thought of starting a blog and writing more publicly about my separation and the changes that this has brought in my life but I have not until now decided to do that. I am hopefully that one day soon, instead of writing all about my separation (which is what I have done every morning for the last 6 months), I will be writing about new experiences which may include travel and that is why I have decided to continue on with this blog allowing it to be my voice.
I find it curious, when I have my bad days, that I think of leaving (actually more like fleeing) to some lost corner of the world. I wonder why that is? You would think that if one feels lonely they would want to go where they are accompanied, not where they know nobody. But yes, that is where I think I would feel better, away, traveling. And so thats what I do. I search for flights to random destinations and dream about going and then talk myself out of going on the pretext that I cannot do it, not alone, financially not right now, too many responsibilities etc etc.. But I am confident one day, like today when I decided to start writing, I will buy that ticket. I know that will be the day that I will have found the strength within myself, that same strength that I had in my early twenties which made me bold and fearless. That same strength that made me act on the need to travel, the desire to explore, that brought me to Spain and turned me into a Part Time Gypsy.




































